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When your life just stops for a moment

In December 2011 my life just stopped for a short while and when it continued everything was different. From one minute to the other. I have very detailed memories regarding that moment. I went to the doctor in the morning – full of anticipation. I was 6 month pregnant. After the visit at the doctor I planned to do my Christmas shopping. I didn’t know at that moment that Christmas would be canceled that year and that nothing would be the same as before anymore. I was still in my old world in which everything was okay. At the latest when the doctor went out to get a colleague I felt that something was not right. In the beginning I still thought that it just might be a 6th finger or that one ear might be a little bit too big. “You should think about an abortion because your child wont be viable”. For a moment I thought that I did not understand the doctor correctly because we were talking in French (I still lived …